Boomer Dating: 8 Spectacular Mistakes My Friends Make on Their Online Profiles
Cass, in hopes of minimizing potential unsatisfying dates, composed a scathing negative essay on everything she did NOT want in a date/partner.
Why is this a mistake? This will backfire because negativity, is a ‘turn-off’ especially on the internet. Potential dates will feel attacked and will not respond to such an aggressive message. She will need to work through her anger somewhere other than the dating sites.
Betty, wanting to get lots of responses, so channeled her male ego and blithely proclaimed that she is interested in FWBs (Friends With Benefits), ‘possibly turning into a relationship’.
Why is this a mistake? Writing a sexual oriented message guarantees to bring out all the crazies in cyberworld. Not only will she get the inevitable avalanche of photos of male organs, compete with measuring stick, she might get some disturbing responses. Even the normal guys won’t look beyond the FWB statement.
Carol laments all the times she has been ‘betrayed’ by men, and that she is looking for a good man.
Why is this a mistake? Advertising that you have been unlucky in love means either you always pick the wrong person, don’t feel worthy of a good partner; or that YOU are not a good relationship risk. Another assumption might be made that you are high maintenance, which is not an appealing to most people.
Melissa wrote a vague superficial profile with no self awareness…instead listing what she wants in a date/partner.
Why is this a mistake? The profile should embody the complete essence of the person, which requires thoughtful, self exploration and the words to communicate it on paper. How can she hope to attract the person she wants if she can’t even define herself?
Susan is looking for someone to ‘complete’ her.
Why is this a mistake? By middle age, one would expect to have learned a few things about being on ones own, and enjoying it. If she jumps from relationship to relationship to feel ‘complete’, she will soon become a bore or a drag on anyone who wants a lively and interesting companion.
Kate advertised for someone who would bring excitement to her life.
Why is this a mistake? An exciting person is going to look for another exciting person to match with…not a slug who has no imagination or any curiosity about the world. If she is frequently bored, then she isn’t fully engaging in her life. That profile will attract posers instead, and she’ll be ultimately disappointed and still bored.
Deana states up front she wants a wealthy man who is generous.
Why is this a mistake? She is asking for a relationship defined in large part by money, and how much he spends. This is in effect a business proposition, period. If she wants a generous person, then this will evidence itself pretty early on in the dating process, financial and otherwise.
Teresa asserts in bold letters that she insists on being treated like a lady at all times.
Why is this a mistake? The implicit assumption here is that she expects to be treated disrespectfully unless she demands otherwise. She doesn’t truly feel she deserves the respect, so she demands it in bold unambiguous letters.